If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
