I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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