used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
