If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize