I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
