I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
