she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
