I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize