a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
