Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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