and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
