The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
