thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize