overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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