he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
