We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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