he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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