We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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