do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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