think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize