I puked a lego.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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