well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
