question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
