I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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