So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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