Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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