Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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