I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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