You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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