well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
