And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
