Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
