don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
