My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
