So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dear god my vagina.
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