Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he shaved USA in his pubs
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
