hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
