FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
