some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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