i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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