That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
