His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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