apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
