I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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