just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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