i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
