I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
