so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
