In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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