Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
