Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
