the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
