ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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