He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
