Your dad touched me again.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize