Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
