i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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