ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
