Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
