Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize