I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She's the barista slut.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
