Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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