i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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