He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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