xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize