Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
How external is "for external use only"?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
